Two pigs and a rat (1)

“Sit back from the table then!” roared an angry rat with a goatee beard.

The plump pig sitting opposite him whined some more. “I only need to lose a few more pounds in order to win the supermodel contest 2007.”

“Christ, you´ll need to lose more than that.” said the rat.

“Can we afford liposuction?” asked the fat pig.

“Maybe we can, why don´t we fatten up the skinny pig and we can sell him off.” suggested the rat, while stroking his goatee beard.

“Lovely”, replied the fat pig. “But does that mean he gets to eat all my chocolates?”

“You greedy git.” sneered the rat. “Do you want to win this thing or not?”

“I do.”

“Well then, stick to the plan.” said the rat as he wrapped his scarf tightly round his proud head.

The skinny pig whose name happened to be Rasher, was outside beating five year old dust out of a persian rug. You could only see him now and again when he took a break to let the dust settle. The fat pig trotted out to him balancing his folds of flesh quite artistically on his nimble little feet. From the distance you´d swear he was wearing a tutu, but of course he was stark naked. What self-respecting pig would be seen wearing one of those.

“Are you still at that? would you ever get a move on.” he shouted, all red-cheeked.

“I want my party dress sewed up for tonight, oh and I busted the crotch in my jeans, put a patch in them while you´re at it.”

Then he turned on one heel, flicked his wrist and chin upwards and huffed, “and if you can have all of that done by nine o´clock tonight I´ll give you a box of chocolates as a reward.

Rasher´s ears shot up in the air. “What was that?” he inquired disbelievingly.

“Yes, you heard me right, I said chocolate.” retorted the fat pig.

“Not those dusty german biscuits?” said Rasher, in pure bewilderment.

“Oh no, we´ve decided that from now on, all your hard work will be rewarded.” puffed the fat pig.

The thin pig fell backwards into a trough of water with his trotters straight up in the air.

(to be continued)